Last week, I got up and got ready for brunch with my friends. I had pushed the snooze button on my alarm way too many times, so I nixed the idea of taking the bus and just called an uber. I went to my friend's house and had a lovely time catching up with friends. Then after my friend told me her work was on lockdown, I checked twitter to see that a shooter was at a synagogue around the corner from my house.
I live so close to Tree of Life synagogue. I pass by it nearly every single day either on my way to work or just going around walks through the neighborhood. Despite being in a city, Squirrel Hill is a quiet, almost suburban, neighborhood. There's big fancy homes to ogle, there's plenty of families with kids and dogs going about, there's a wide diversity of students that attend Carnegie Mellon, Pitt, Chatham, or any of the other universities in the area. There's a quaint movie theatre. There's tons of amazing restaurants of so many cultures and cuisines. I've lived here ever since I graduate college, and I'm so happy to be in the area.
Now around the corner from my home, there's 11 markers for the people who died on October 27, 2018. Now our neighborhood is scarred by an act of violence, an act threatening people who simply came together to worship. Now we have international attention on our neighborhood as we try to pick of the pieces of a broken heart.
I'm amazed by my community. The efforts people here have gone to in order to support the Jewish community in Pittsburgh is astounding and makes me cry. There has been so much love pouring out, and an outcry demanding that we change the culture. That we stop normalizing hate. I want our voices to drive out all those who consider violence, and that they run with their tails between their legs away from this city's vibrant love.
My neighborhood is going to carry this with us forever. We won't forget the victims: Rose Mallinger, Irving Younger, Melvin Wax, Bernice and Sylvan Simon, Daniel Stein, Joyce Feinberg, Cecil and David Rosenthal, Jerry Rabinowitz, and Richard Gottfried. Their memories are in our hearts. That corner is marked forever with hatred, but I have seen so many people gather there to mourn, grieve, and pass along love.
I'm fortunate to be safe, as are my friends and family. But we're dealing with a communal tragedy. I'm struggling to cope. My depression in hopping onto these feelings and trying to force me to stay silent and hide in my bed. But I won't. I can't. Pittsburgh and Squirrel Hill means too much to me. I will go out on November 6th and vote one block away from Tree of Life. I will vote for change and then I will work for it too. I will not let hatred be the new normal.
Friday, November 2, 2018
Friday, October 12, 2018
dark lipsticks
As the weather begins to cool down, everything in my color palette begins to shift darker. This applies to my clothing, shoes, nail polish, and make up. For the longest, time I was terrified of dark lipsticks. I'm the whitest of whites: the color of cream cheese, vanilla yogurt, or freshly fallen snow. Dark lipsticks terrified me because I felt it would just make me look like I was goth, and I listen to way too much Taylor Swift for that aesthetic. However, I've been warming up to darker lipsticks. One of my biggest inspirations is Gena-mour Barrett, a British writer whose post about why she wears bright lipstick was a big push for me to be more adventurous in trying different shades, especially darker ones out of my comfort zone. Her instagram is great, I highly recommend you follow!
I'm trying to be more creative and inventive with my makeup looks and a really simple way to do that is to push my boundaries and wear a dark lip. It's working well so far! Sometimes I look a bit like a pale Victorian ghost with dark haunted lips, but for the most part, it makes me feel like a badass bitch.
Remember when I said I desperately wanted this lipstick in my wishlist post? Well after writing, I went to Sephora to redeem my free mascara voucher and... I bought it. But can you blame me? This color is GORGEOUS, and it's the perfect color for fall. I tend to wear only liquid lipsticks lately, but this lipstick is so lush and moisturizing, that it's been really wonderful mixing it up!
I took a photo that wasn't on my porch? I was cat sitting for my friend and spent the night there. Turns out his apartment has amazing lighting in the morning, so I couldn't help but snap a pic! What I love is that even though this is a really dark lipstick, you can still get the base of burgundy color. It's like easing into a black lipstick without going full black if that makes sense? It's really love and since it's ColourPop, super cheap!
This has been one of my favorite colors this year, but unfortunately it's such a small sample that I wear it so sparingly! The Amuse Bouche lipstick is so creamy and soft, I adore this formula. They're kind of expensive but worth it, plus I need to go pick up my Bite Beauty Sephora birthday gift! Also this color isn't suuuper dark in this photo (TY sunshine), but it is a dark oxblood. I think this is a good color you can layer to get it even darker.
Unfortunately, I don't have a really good dark brown lipstick. There's one I wear since I got a sample size, but I don't love it enough to showcase it. I had a color from L'Oreal that I loved, the formula of their liquid lipsticks is TERRIBLE. It's weirdly shiny and last time I wore it, I had difficulty getting it off and my lips were so dry for days. I'm currently on the hunt, and will accept any recommendations for a good brown lip color (I am eyeing Rihanna's new Stunna Lip Paints actually).
Dark lips work anytime of year, but fall is definitely the perfect vibe for them, so I shall be rocking these three colors probably the most out of my lipsticks for the next couple months. (I'm wearing my Fenty Beauty lipstick right now because it is just so perfect!)
Thursday, September 27, 2018
I Believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford
I feel very fortunate to have never been a victim of sexual assault. I've experienced the everyday sexism of cat-calling, mansplaining, and struggling to find decent pockets in my pants. I've been groped while out at a bar or a party, but I've been lucky enough that when I pulled away, rolled my eyes, or yelled "fuck you" I wasn't attacked or further violated. I wish my experience could be what every woman experiences, but I know that's not the case. I've had friends who've been assaulted. I've read stories of women (and men and nonbinary people) across the Internet every time a new celebrity or politician is accused of sexual misconduct, assault, or rape. I stand by those people because I know it happens, and it is through some fortunate circumstances in my life that I haven't been a victim.
I wasn't born yet when Anita Hill testified against Clarence Thomas. With the local news, I can imagine how terrible of a circus that was, and how brave she was for speaking her truth. I'm disappointed that so many didn't believe her, but I respect how she stood up. She paved the way for Dr. Christine Blasey Ford to testify today, and I am grateful for Anita Hill.
I believe women. I believe sexual assault survivors. Talking about one's trauma is incredibly difficult, and I know I would be terrified to speak to Congress on national television about my own personal trauma. How women, and other victims, have the courage to do this is incredible. They will receive no glory and accolades. They've already received death threats and slander in the news. Nevertheless, they persist, in an attempt to make this world a little better. I am listening to these stories, and I hope everyone does too. Listen with empathy, and try to understand that this is not something any single person would do lightly.
I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
I wasn't born yet when Anita Hill testified against Clarence Thomas. With the local news, I can imagine how terrible of a circus that was, and how brave she was for speaking her truth. I'm disappointed that so many didn't believe her, but I respect how she stood up. She paved the way for Dr. Christine Blasey Ford to testify today, and I am grateful for Anita Hill.
I believe women. I believe sexual assault survivors. Talking about one's trauma is incredibly difficult, and I know I would be terrified to speak to Congress on national television about my own personal trauma. How women, and other victims, have the courage to do this is incredible. They will receive no glory and accolades. They've already received death threats and slander in the news. Nevertheless, they persist, in an attempt to make this world a little better. I am listening to these stories, and I hope everyone does too. Listen with empathy, and try to understand that this is not something any single person would do lightly.
I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
Saturday, September 22, 2018
a mid september wishlist
I've made an effort to curb my spending the past month because frankly Sephora was taking way too much out of my bank account. This leaves me with a growing list of things I wish I could buy but instead will just watch it slowly languish in my my shopping carts online. One day my sweet darlings!
To help myself (or maybe hurt myself), here's somethings at the top of my wishlist that I receive a sudden windfall I will be happily purchasing! (You can venmo me @ali-mccaffrey if you wanna help a girl out).
I spent 100 of my Sephora points on a trial size of this, and I adored it. And then it went through the washing machine... This color is so gorgeous and I love the formula. I will get you back!
I got this as a trial sample from Sephora (this post is revealing the manipulative relationship I am in with Sephora...). I adore this scent, and am trying so hard to savor it. It's flowery without being sickly sweet, and it wears so nicely.
I've made it very clear that I love Huda Beauty Obsessions Palette, so is it a surprise that I want more? I'd happily accept any of the Obsessions Palettes, but of the new Precious Stones collections, I've got my eye on Ruby. I might send my mom a link to these for Christmas. Also runners up: Amethyst and Smokey.
A $129 eyeshadow palette? Yeah I'm never going to own this unless my fairy godmother gifts it to me. But these colors are so stunningly beautiful, and the reviews are insanely positive. I'll just watch it lovingly from afar.
I have one Becca highlighter and I adore it, so I would love to add to my collection. This is an easy way to grow my collection with just one piece! Plus, I really want to try some new blushes.
Oh I like things other than makeup? These editions are so freaking gorgeous and I would love to own them. I own the US Hardcovers and the audiobooks, so yes I would like a third version of Harry Potter!
A local art store sells these brush pens, and I am obsessed! I only have a couple colors but I would LOOOVE the whole collection. I have so much fun with them, and they make your writing look like watercolors.
Chrissy Teigen makes another appearance on my list! I want to get more into trying more recipes, and I would love to try her cookbooks. Currently I have the Smitten Kitchen book, which I should delve into before trying new cookbooks. But I adore Chrissy Teigen and would love to support her.
Look if I get a sudden influx of money, I should really make some payments on my student loans... but isn't Internet window shopping so much more fun???
To help myself (or maybe hurt myself), here's somethings at the top of my wishlist that I receive a sudden windfall I will be happily purchasing! (You can venmo me @ali-mccaffrey if you wanna help a girl out).
I spent 100 of my Sephora points on a trial size of this, and I adored it. And then it went through the washing machine... This color is so gorgeous and I love the formula. I will get you back!
I got this as a trial sample from Sephora (this post is revealing the manipulative relationship I am in with Sephora...). I adore this scent, and am trying so hard to savor it. It's flowery without being sickly sweet, and it wears so nicely.
I've made it very clear that I love Huda Beauty Obsessions Palette, so is it a surprise that I want more? I'd happily accept any of the Obsessions Palettes, but of the new Precious Stones collections, I've got my eye on Ruby. I might send my mom a link to these for Christmas. Also runners up: Amethyst and Smokey.
A $129 eyeshadow palette? Yeah I'm never going to own this unless my fairy godmother gifts it to me. But these colors are so stunningly beautiful, and the reviews are insanely positive. I'll just watch it lovingly from afar.
I have one Becca highlighter and I adore it, so I would love to add to my collection. This is an easy way to grow my collection with just one piece! Plus, I really want to try some new blushes.
Oh I like things other than makeup? These editions are so freaking gorgeous and I would love to own them. I own the US Hardcovers and the audiobooks, so yes I would like a third version of Harry Potter!
A local art store sells these brush pens, and I am obsessed! I only have a couple colors but I would LOOOVE the whole collection. I have so much fun with them, and they make your writing look like watercolors.
Cravings and Cravings: Hungry for More both by Chrissy Teigen
Chrissy Teigen makes another appearance on my list! I want to get more into trying more recipes, and I would love to try her cookbooks. Currently I have the Smitten Kitchen book, which I should delve into before trying new cookbooks. But I adore Chrissy Teigen and would love to support her.
Look if I get a sudden influx of money, I should really make some payments on my student loans... but isn't Internet window shopping so much more fun???
Tuesday, September 18, 2018
stuck in a slump
For the last month in a half, I've been a big reading slump. I'm not sure how it happened! I've been doing so well at reading this year. I've been kicking ass at both my Goodreads challenge of 100 books (I'm 15 books ahead of schedule) and my PopSugar Reading Challenge (33/50). I read far more than the average person just in general. I also did a couple themed reading months! I've been doing really well! And yet, I'm so disappointed in this slump.
I hesitate to pick up new books. I don't feel as much enjoyment when I'm reading. I feel anxious when I see an e-loan from the library is about to expire and I haven't even touched it. I don't know what's happening. Sure, I went on vacation and spent my free time hanging out with my family instead of reading. Sure, I had surgery on my ankle and was too exhausted to read and spent hours watching YouTube videos instead (shout out to Dr. Pimple Popper, the SacconeJolys, and vine compilation videos). I have all these excuses and I don't think anyone would chide me for my slow down on reading.
I know this is my anxiety acting up. I know that it's not a big deal, and I'l get back into my reading pace quickly. Slumps happen! But I feel so incredibly guilty, and the guilt leads to more anxiety and I just start to spiral.
I'm not sure how to get out of this slump. I finished a book I'd been slowly reading for a couple months and the next book in a series by a new romance novel author I enjoy. I liked both books, and had a good time. I should feel proud! But I'm not. I'm really disappointed still.
I'm not looking for a solution (although suggestions for getting out of a slump are greatly appreciated). I'm not looking for sympathy. I just wanted to express how I felt, even though I know I shouldn't feel that way. I'm hoping after I post this, some of my reading motivation will return and I'll be back on track with how the year started out. But I guess I'll have to see, and listen to endless podcasts in the meantime.
(Taking a podcast break my be my first start at making more reading time)
I hesitate to pick up new books. I don't feel as much enjoyment when I'm reading. I feel anxious when I see an e-loan from the library is about to expire and I haven't even touched it. I don't know what's happening. Sure, I went on vacation and spent my free time hanging out with my family instead of reading. Sure, I had surgery on my ankle and was too exhausted to read and spent hours watching YouTube videos instead (shout out to Dr. Pimple Popper, the SacconeJolys, and vine compilation videos). I have all these excuses and I don't think anyone would chide me for my slow down on reading.
I know this is my anxiety acting up. I know that it's not a big deal, and I'l get back into my reading pace quickly. Slumps happen! But I feel so incredibly guilty, and the guilt leads to more anxiety and I just start to spiral.
I'm not sure how to get out of this slump. I finished a book I'd been slowly reading for a couple months and the next book in a series by a new romance novel author I enjoy. I liked both books, and had a good time. I should feel proud! But I'm not. I'm really disappointed still.
I'm not looking for a solution (although suggestions for getting out of a slump are greatly appreciated). I'm not looking for sympathy. I just wanted to express how I felt, even though I know I shouldn't feel that way. I'm hoping after I post this, some of my reading motivation will return and I'll be back on track with how the year started out. But I guess I'll have to see, and listen to endless podcasts in the meantime.
(Taking a podcast break my be my first start at making more reading time)
Tuesday, September 4, 2018
one palette three looks: Colourpop Dream St.
Last Christmas, I was browsing makeup online (as I often do), and was going through different lipstick shades on the Colourpop website. I had heard a lot about how the lipsticks were really comparable to Kylie Cosmetics, but way cheaper. They were having a deal that if you spent a certain amount, you could get a free Golden State of Mind palette. Well, I love a good deal, so I ending up buying some lipsticks, some brushes, and the Dream St palette in order to get another free eyeshadow palette (yes, I have a problem. I'm so aware).
Both of these palettes were pretty impressive, but Dream St ended up being the more versatile palette. This was made in a collaboration with YouTuber Kathleen Lights, who I had never heard of, but I've since watched a few of her videos. Dream St has a combination of matte, satin, and shimmery shades. There's some great neutral brown and golden colors, as well as some really fun shimmers and blues. There's a lot to do with this palette, so I was super excited to dive into three different looks for this blog!
A quick note: you NEED primer for these shadows. When I first ordered the palette, it was when I was sitting on a couch recovering from surgery. I played around with the palette just for fun, and it creased like crazy. I don't even have particularly oily eyelids! But with my holy grail primer, the shades stay all day and look great!
Both of these palettes were pretty impressive, but Dream St ended up being the more versatile palette. This was made in a collaboration with YouTuber Kathleen Lights, who I had never heard of, but I've since watched a few of her videos. Dream St has a combination of matte, satin, and shimmery shades. There's some great neutral brown and golden colors, as well as some really fun shimmers and blues. There's a lot to do with this palette, so I was super excited to dive into three different looks for this blog!
A quick note: you NEED primer for these shadows. When I first ordered the palette, it was when I was sitting on a couch recovering from surgery. I played around with the palette just for fun, and it creased like crazy. I don't even have particularly oily eyelids! But with my holy grail primer, the shades stay all day and look great!
The packaging on this palette is MAGNIFICENT. Seriously, it's absolutely stunning.
Monday, August 27, 2018
an ode to To All The Boys I've Loved Before
Back in 2014, I picked up the new Jenny Han young adult novel To All The Boys I've Loved Before, and I instantly fell in love. I'd read Han's Summer series and liked it, but I was not prepared with how much I would come to adore Lara Jean and her story. The premise of the novel is this: Lara Jean Song Covey is a girl who gets absolutely consumed by her crushes, so she writes love letters in order to process her feelings. Somehow, the letters get sent out, and Lara Jean has to deal with the consequences, such as her older sister's ex-boyfriend getting a letter. It's a cozy novel about a teenage girl falling in love for the first time, coming out of her shell, and an intimate look at strong sisterly bonds. I was obsessed and desperate for the sequel (since the first book has QUITE the cliffhanger - which you don't often see in YA contemporary novels). I'm a huge fan of romantic comedies, and TALBILB hit that sweet spot that I so desperately crave.
These books have such delightfully beautiful covers!
I didn't love the sequel as much, mostly because I felt it wasn't a really strong ending to Lara Jean's story, and was thrilled when Han announced a third book. I recently reread the first and second books, and can confirm I enjoy the second book much more now that I know there's more to the story. Lara Jean is half Korean, and Han explores the relationship Lara Jean has to her identity. It features strong familial bonds, crush worthy boys, and a girl coming into her own and determining who she wants to be. Lara Jean also bakes a lot, so it's good to go into reading with a bunch of chocolate chip cookies to munch on.
What I really wanted to talk about today is the film adaptation with came out a little over two weeks ago on Netflix. When Han announced her novel was going to be adapted into a film, I was thrilled. With every casting announcement, I grew more and more excited. When Netflix bought the streaming rights, I knew I'd get the chance to rewatch as much as I want. When the trailer dropped? I screamed. Everything about it looked so cute, and I'm so happy Han fought for the Song sisters to remain Asian American, because white-washing the characters would have just ruined some of the spirit of the film.
This movie is... PERFECT. Seriously, I adore it. It perfectly captures the essence of the book. It's adorable and cozy and the perfect film to watch with your girlfriends and a glass of wine (or milk and cookies!). It's incredibly faithful to the book, while also making it a really enjoyable film. Peter Kavinsky (the main love interest whom Lara Jean fakes a relationship with) is just... *chef's kiss*. Lana Condor and Noah Centineo (Lara Jean and Peter) are incredible actors who really embody theri characters. Their chemistry is incredible, and the love story could make any cynic want to fall in love (I'm talking about myself of course). It also feels like an homage to all the classic teen romance comedies of eras before while being uniquely perfect all on its own. Also the set designer created the PERFECT teenage girl bedroom, and the costume designer totally nailed the Lara Jean aesthetic.
I know I'm completely fangirling, but honestly? This book and this film just make me so happy. The film is having a moment on twitter where everyone seems obsessed (rightfully so!). It's wholesome, but not prudish. It's funny without being mean. It's dramatic without being unbelievably unrealistic. It'll charm the pants right off of you! This book is a perfect example of how excellent YA novels are to those who are super dismissive of it. Plus, it's current success as a film will hopefully lead to a sequel and more and more YA adaptations. I'm willing to spend the money!!!
I'm so happy this book series and the film exist. I've already watched it 3 times, and I know I'll watch it again as I recover from my upcoming ankle surgery. If you need a pick me up, or just want to spend an hour and a half being thoroughly entertained? Watch this film. You'll walk away with a smile and huge crush on Condor and Centineo. I promise you'll thank me.
I didn't love the sequel as much, mostly because I felt it wasn't a really strong ending to Lara Jean's story, and was thrilled when Han announced a third book. I recently reread the first and second books, and can confirm I enjoy the second book much more now that I know there's more to the story. Lara Jean is half Korean, and Han explores the relationship Lara Jean has to her identity. It features strong familial bonds, crush worthy boys, and a girl coming into her own and determining who she wants to be. Lara Jean also bakes a lot, so it's good to go into reading with a bunch of chocolate chip cookies to munch on.
What I really wanted to talk about today is the film adaptation with came out a little over two weeks ago on Netflix. When Han announced her novel was going to be adapted into a film, I was thrilled. With every casting announcement, I grew more and more excited. When Netflix bought the streaming rights, I knew I'd get the chance to rewatch as much as I want. When the trailer dropped? I screamed. Everything about it looked so cute, and I'm so happy Han fought for the Song sisters to remain Asian American, because white-washing the characters would have just ruined some of the spirit of the film.
Hello, I'm in love with both of them!
This movie is... PERFECT. Seriously, I adore it. It perfectly captures the essence of the book. It's adorable and cozy and the perfect film to watch with your girlfriends and a glass of wine (or milk and cookies!). It's incredibly faithful to the book, while also making it a really enjoyable film. Peter Kavinsky (the main love interest whom Lara Jean fakes a relationship with) is just... *chef's kiss*. Lana Condor and Noah Centineo (Lara Jean and Peter) are incredible actors who really embody theri characters. Their chemistry is incredible, and the love story could make any cynic want to fall in love (I'm talking about myself of course). It also feels like an homage to all the classic teen romance comedies of eras before while being uniquely perfect all on its own. Also the set designer created the PERFECT teenage girl bedroom, and the costume designer totally nailed the Lara Jean aesthetic.
This is teen girl bedroom GOALS. Bless this set designer
I know I'm completely fangirling, but honestly? This book and this film just make me so happy. The film is having a moment on twitter where everyone seems obsessed (rightfully so!). It's wholesome, but not prudish. It's funny without being mean. It's dramatic without being unbelievably unrealistic. It'll charm the pants right off of you! This book is a perfect example of how excellent YA novels are to those who are super dismissive of it. Plus, it's current success as a film will hopefully lead to a sequel and more and more YA adaptations. I'm willing to spend the money!!!
The Song Sisters who were EXCELLENT. Anna Cathcart was so funny as Kitty
I'm so happy this book series and the film exist. I've already watched it 3 times, and I know I'll watch it again as I recover from my upcoming ankle surgery. If you need a pick me up, or just want to spend an hour and a half being thoroughly entertained? Watch this film. You'll walk away with a smile and huge crush on Condor and Centineo. I promise you'll thank me.
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