pride month reads

After Women's History Month, I wasn't sure if I was going to do anymore themed reading this year. But as June came around and with that Pride Month, I decided it would be good to read LGBTQ+ authors and stories this month. I've been actively trying to read more diversely this year, and one of the ways I've failed in the past is reading more queer works. I read a lot of romance that is always heterosexual. I don't read a lot from queer authors, so, this was a perfect way to check some books off my to read list and get some new perspective in my reading life! I started this challenge a little belatedly, nearly halfway into the month! I still managed to read 7 books though so I'm super happy about it.

George by Alex Gino

My first Pride read was the absolutely darling middle grade novel, George. This is the story of a trans girl who wants to star as Charlotte in her school's production of Charlotte's Web, but isn't allowed because she's a boy. George is written by a trans woman, meaning this is also own voices representation. I was thoroughly charmed by this book! It's a really accessible book for young kids without being overly preachy or simplistic. It talks frankly about how George/Melissa feels, there's a variety of reactions to her identity without being filled with exploitative violence that many queer stories have. This book is so well celebrated and completely deserving of it.

Release by Patrick Ness

Patrick Ness is one of my favorite writers, so I was really excited to read this. Release tells the story of a day in the life of Adam, the gay son of an Evangelical pastor. He's dealing with a lot of change all in one day, so this novel is filled to the brim with introspection. Meanwhile a mystical queen has risen which could mean an end to the world. I had no idea about the fantasy elements of the book, so I was pretty thrown off by it. I loved Adam's story, but the fantasy didn't have much depth. I felt so confused. Ultimately the stories come together at the very end, but it wasn't satisfying since I only cared about one half of the story. I would have loved this book had it just been about Adam's story. Also, as Ness is a gay man, this is another own voices story.

The Weight of Feathers by Anna-Marie McLemore

This novel was described as magical realism Romeo and Juliet and compared to The Night Circus, so I was totally sold on this. This is the story of two feuding performance families, the Palomas, a Mexican family who perform as mermaid stunts in the water, and the Corbeaus, a French Romani family who climb tightropes with large wings. It focuses on Lace and Cluck (yes his name is ridiculous) and how they overcome their families differences and fall in love. The writing in this is absolutely dreamy, although I had wanted just a bit more of the magic. Although this is a love story between a boy and a girl, McLemore identifies as demisexual, and states that this love story was partially inspired by her own with her trans husband. This book was really lovely, and I can't wait to read more by McLemore.

I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

This book is pretty much a modern YA classic, so it was about time I read it. This is the story of twins Noah and Jude told from both their alternating perspectives. Noah's story covers ages 13-14, and Jude's is age 16. Noah is a closeted gay boy who is constantly drawing and dreaming of acceptance to a prestigious art high school. Jude is an anxious student at said art school who talks with her grandmother's ghost. The two stories ultimately come together in a very satisfying way. I didn't vibe with Nelson's writing style, as the characters tended to go off on so many tangents that felt distracting, but she created a really intriguing plot that had me flying through the last third of the book.

If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan

I had never heard of Sara Farizan before this month, but I did some googling to find queer YA voices, and she popped up. Farizan is Iranian and set this story in Iran. Sahar and her best friend Nasrin are in love, but homosexuality is illegal in Iran. Nasrin's parents plan to marry her off and Sahar is desperate to find a solution. This book was really angsty and sad, as the consequences of being gay are so much higher stakes than the USA. I had a lot of trouble with Sahar's decision making in the book. She's only 17, which means of course she doesn't consider any consequences but I was a bit turned off by it. Additionally, I don't like present tense writing. But I was really glad to read a book set outside the US since that's another way to get a diversity of reading.

The Ruin of a Rake by Cat Sebastian 

This was my first male/male romance novel, and I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I ended up really liking this. It's set in Regency England, which is the setting for the vast majority of historical romance I've read. It was a bit sad to not have a wedding at the end, but of course gay marriage was not legalized! Anyway, I adored Cat Sebastian's writing. This book was so sexy and there was a really wonderful dynamic between the characters. I'm really looking forward to reading more from her as she makes LGBTQ+ characters a priority in her historical romance novels, which makes sense as these identities are not a new invention.

Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera

This book was a little all over the place for me. It's set in 2002, and follows Juliet, a gay Puerto Rican girl from the Bronx, who comes out to her family just before she heads off to Portland to intern for a famous white woman feminist. For one, Rivera has a wonderful voice. She's incredibly funny and paints Portland and hippy feminism so accurately, I couldn't stop rolling my eyes at the speeches the characters made. Rivera also makes Latina and brown and black voices really prominent in the story, which is so important. However, this book came through an indie publisher and had a lot of editing issues. The formatting was off in the book, and it needed a really strong editor to make the story a lot tighter. So while I didn't love this, I'm really looking forward to seeing what else Rivera is writing.


That's it! I had some really great reads this month, and I'm happy for once again expanding my horizons in terms of reading. It's important to make an effort to read a better variety of stories, which is what I've been doing with these monthly challenges. One book I didn't summarize is The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli. I didn't want to include it on its own as the author is straight (I believe) and the main character is straight. However, the main character is the daughter of lesbians, and her twin is a lesbian dating a pansexual girl, so there was still a lot of queerness in the novel.

I'm definitely up for more stories to read and more authors to check out, so I'm always open to recommendations! I don't want to just read queer stories during Pride Month, or black authors during Black History Month, because they deserve to be read all year round.

my recent handlettering projects

One of the reasons I picked "create" as my word of the year was so that I could get back into handlettering. During college, I spent a lot of time in lectures doodling in the margins of my notebooks some of my favorite lyrics and quotes. I loved doing it, and ended up dedicating a whole notebook to my little doodles. After graduating college and entering the workforce, I noticed this hobby tended to die off. I wasn't doing that as much anymore and I missed it! So this year, I've been actively trying to handletter more. Using a bullet journal as been so useful for this ebcause it offers a lot of space and freedom for me to draw and doodle and practice my faux calligraphy. I have a couple recent pieces that I'm really proud of, and I want to showcase them here!

This was a quote from CS Lewis that really struck me. I struggle a lot with anxiety and fear of the future, so it became a bit of a mantra I wanted to repeat to myself. My bullet journal theme for May was lavender, which is a very calming scent, so the quote was a perfect pairing for my weekly spread!

This was inspired by Amanda Rach Lee who is one of my favorite bullet journalers. It's a celebration of Pride month and reminder that love is love is love is love. I did a doodle of Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech a while back, so it was fun to do a new pride doodle. 

I shared in my last post about how My Favorite Murder is a podcast making me so happy lately, which means of course I had to doodle one of their catchphrases! This was so much fun, not because the lettering itself was complicated, but because I got to do a lipstick print and the bloody knife. I love playing with illustrative styles and I was really proud of how this turned out.

My bullet journal theme for June is citrus fruits, so I've been drawing a lot of little fruit slices. This quote doesn't particularly have anything to with citrus, but I wanted to use the same doodles and color schemes in a hand lettering page for this month. This quote is really over used on the internet and makes me feel very cliched BUT it's a good reminder for believing in myself and accomplishing what I want.

These doodles make me happy, and I'm so thrilled to be exercising some creativity and expressing myself. I'm probably going to fill out my bullet journal before the year is up, but if it's because I'm adding some art that I enjoy, then it's all worth it!

some things making me happy pt. 2

The sky is pouring down rain, the news is full of heart-breaking stories, and my ankle hurts, so let's focus on some things that have made me happy.

Last night I watched Tig Notaro's new Netflix Special Happy to Be Here. I really love Tig's style of comedy. She's completely deadpan and has an excellent delivery. In this special she talks a lot about her wife, her kitten, and her sons, and I nearly fell out of my chair because I was laughing so hard. Tig brought a lot of joy into my life last evening and I highly recommend her new special!

I've already made my love of podcasts very clear, so naturally I had to put a podcast on this list. Back in April when it was announced that police had arrested the Golden State Killer, I went and listened to My Favorite Murder to hear them talk about the case. After that I decided to try ore of their show and then... I became obsessed. I've listened to nearly every episode of this show ever, and I completely adore it. Karen and Georgia retell different murder and crime stories to each other just as friends who are obsessed with true crime. They talk openly about their mental health struggles, they advocate for women and victims, and, like all great podcasts, make me feel like I'm hanging out with my best friends.

Last weekend, my roommate and I had a girls night and watched the new Netflix film Set It Up. It was a really fun film that fills the giant hole in my life that needs to be filled with rom-coms. I desperately miss the rom-com and cannot wait for it to make a comeback. This has the classic ridiculous rom-com premise (assistants set up their overworked bosses), with great hijinks all along the way. Also, I desperately need Lucy Liu's entire wardrobe from this film.

How could I not include the Queen herself? Beyoncé and her husband released an album last weekend, and I really like it. I'm already planning when I can use the lyrics from FRIENDS as Instagram captions. I've been listening to Lemonade a lot recently (because of course!) so it's great to have new music from Beyoncé and the guy she's married to.


Hopefully these things can give others some joy this weekend as much as they give me! Let's go into the weekend with a smile on our face, and the ability to find joy in the face of all the terrible things trying to bring us down. 

mascara try on

If there's one thing I wish I had it would be big beautiful eyelashes that don't need mascara. Okay, thick eyelashes are not the top of my wishlist, not even top 10. But if I had an endless supply of wishes, naturally gorgeous eyelashes would be there at some point. I know one of the latest crazes is eyelash extensions which seem perfect for me except for the price tag. Maybe one day if I ever get a job with lots of disposable income, it'll happen. Until then, I rely heavily on mascara.

When it comes to my basic-est makeup routine, it's concealer, brows, and mascara. I want to add lipstick, but frankly I'd rather leave the house with mascara on then lipstick. Well, honestly, I'd much prefer to have both on, but if I can only have three products in this weird self-imposed hypothetical, mascara is number 3 on the list.

I was recently in a Sephora talking with an employee and mentioned that I've actually started to prefer mini size mascaras. She told me this was probably due to the smaller tube allowing a better distribution of product on the wand. It's also turning out to be a better deal for me, since mini mascaras are much cheaper (typically half the price) and honestly last me just as long. So for this try-on, I only used a bunch of mini size mascaras. Most of them came from this kit which was a great buy! It also comes with a coupon for a full size of one of these products!

Also here's what I did for all of these photos. I curled my lashes, then applied one coat on my top lashes and bottom lashes. Then I added one additional coat on my top lashes. I didn't put on any eye shadow or eyeliner for these photos, but adding eyeliner can definitely make your lashes look a lot bolder.

Tarte Gifted Amazonian Clay Mascara

This product has now become my go-to everyday mascara! I love how natural it looks. It's perfect mascara to just throw on when you don't want your makeup to be really bold or over the top. I wear it the most at work when I'm just going with a really simple make up look. The Tarte Amazonian Clay blushes, bronzers, and highlighters have really wowed me, so the whole Amazonian Clay line is proving to be such a winner.

IT Costmetics Superhero Elastic Stretch Volumizing Mascara

IT Cosmetics has been a bit of a cult favorite brand lately! My hair stylist told me she loves their CC cream, which I definitely want to try soon. If the rest of their brand is as great as this mascara, I'm sold! This was probably my favorite is the Lashstash kit. One coat of this is definitely enough mascara, but it's really easily buildable to but on a bunch of extra coats and make your lashes POP.

Lancome Monsieur Big Mascara

This post has just gone from more natural and increasing in boldness! I've never tried Lancome mascara before but I know they're extremely popular from the brand. This mascara made my lashes look SO long. This is a mascara I would gravitate towards for a night out than an everyday look because these make your eyelashes stand out! I would be careful applying because my lashes did tend to clump, so you don't want to rush through the application process.

Urban Decay Troublemaker Mascara

Okay, this is my least favorite mascara of the bunch. In fact, I probably won't wear it anymore. While it looks good, in this mascara did not say on my lashes. After taking this photo, I went to the movie theatre and after the film I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror only to see black smudging all down my cheek. I hadn't even cried or been sweating! The brush is also so weird. The bristles are short and far apart. Maybe that's good for some people, but I like bigger thicker bristles! The fullsize product's packaging is so pretty but my sample didn't come that way, probably just to let me know I shouldn't expect much.

Bobbi Brown Eye Opening Mascara

I think this mascara falls more on the side of natural than bold. It's a really decent mascara. It looks fine and goes on fine, and I don't have anything negative to say. It doesn't really stand out for me, and I probably wouldn't repurchase, but it's a nice mascara! I'll definitely keep it around because it's always nice to have an extra mascara around, but I probably won't reach for it first.


It was really fun trying a bunch of new mascaras, because I'm normally quite a loyalist who sticks to one product. But I really like getting to try new ones out in my quest for big, bold, and beautiful lashes! I'm really drawn to and test kits that provide a mini mascara so that I get the chance to easily try out more products.

I purchased all of these products with my own money and took all these selfies on my beautiful porch! I am slowly being judged by neighbors, but it's fine! Also here's an outtake from the day I took photos and it was SUPER windy.

a pink summer glow look

One of my goals for being more creative this year was to have more fun with my makeup. I own quite a bit of makeup, but I tend to go for really simple looks everyday, mostly because it allows me to spend more time sleeping in the morning (I'm just being honest who I am as a person). But last weekend I played around with my newest eye shadow palette and I had so much fun! I LOVED how the look turned out so I wanted to share it here. 

Alright so here's the overall look! I started with Diorskin Bude Air Serum Foundation (I use the lightest shade). I prefer light foundations that still have a decent amount of coverage, and this was recommended to me by a Sephora employee. For concealer I used Nars Creamy Concealer in Vanilla under the eye and Makeup Forever Full Cover Concealer in Flesh 4 on any areas that needed a bit more coverage. The Makeup Forever concealer is a God send for covering up spots!! 

I filled in my brows with Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade in Chocolate, which transforms my brows to look magical!! I knew I wanted to glow and have a popping highlighter. I used Fenty Beauty's Killawatt Freestyle Highlighter and it is AMAZING. I mean... look at the amazing glow on my face! Rihanna is truly responsible for my summer glow. Then I used two new Tarte products that are perfect for the summer: Amazonian Clay Blush in Harmony and Amazonian Clay Bronzer in Park Ave Princess. The blush is more orange-based then I typically used, but I'm actually totally loving it.

For my lips I used two products. First, I applied Too Faced Melted Matte Liquid Lipstick in Sell Out. This a really great pinky nude that I like to wear with a more dramatic eye. Then to pump up the glow, I turned to Rihanna's Fenty beauty again with the Gloss Bomb in Fenty Glow (This highlighter/lip gloss duo is so worth the price!)

Finally the star of this look: my eyes! I started with Urban Decay's Eyeshadow Primer Potion which is a must use anytime I apply eye shadow. Then, I used my new HUDA Beauty Obsessions eye palette in the shade mauve. I primarily used the shimmery colors, so that my eyes really shined. I'm typically nervous when it comes to using pink based shades because I'm so pale that I think it makes me look like my eyes are irritated. But I loved the colors on my eye, and these shadows are so smooth. They went on like a breeze! I'll definitely buy more HUDA Beauty eye shadows in the future. I used my trusty Urban Decay Naked 3 palette for its lightest shade (Stranger) for an under the brow highlight and to brighten the inner corner. Then, I somehow managed to do a winged eyeliner using the Sephora Collection Liquid Eyeliner. This is about to run out and I'm actually looking for a new liquid eyeliner. But I was so pleased with this wing! FINALLY, I finished off with the IT Cosmetics mascara that is in this trial set.

I had so much fun creating this look, and I'm definitely excited to created more fun looks with this palettes and all the other ones I own! And hopefully I'll be able to recreate this great wing eyeliner in the future!!

last week

Last week, the news of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain's deaths hit me really hard. Kate Spade is one of my favorite designers. I adore the classic minimalist style of her bags. She doesn't shade away from bright colors and bold polka dots and stripes, which are all right in my personal aesthetics. I have three bags from her that I rotate throughout the year so that I always carry her with me. I'm not a huge Bourdain fan, mostly because I never really watched his show, but I respected who he was and what he stood for. He seemed like a wonderful man who did wonderful things. To have 2 really public suicides int he course of a week struck me hard.

The truth is I've dealt with suicide ideation and overwhelming thoughts of death. In fact only the week before these two died, I had had a horrible day where I thought a lot about death and dying. I've never made any attempts to harm myself, but my depression often manifests in thoughts about death. I wonder what will happen when I die and who would actually mourn me. It's dark and gross, and I really struggle hard to push those thoughts away. Seeing so much about suicide in the news, well it made everything worse.

Depression is a really horrible beast that you fight every single day. Some days, I have really excellent days spent with friends or family doing cool things and I feel so loved. Those days, depression loses and I go to bed feeling great. The next day as my alarm goes off, I have no motivation to get out of bed. It's physically difficult, and I know my day will be long and groggy and a vague cloud of sadness will follow me around. Those days, depression gets the best of me. Everyday, it's a new fight and a new battle.

There are things that help. Medication, therapy, and friends and family who love and take care of you. I'm blessed to have access to all of these things. I can afford medical services to help me, and I have a close knit group of people who continue to prove their love for me. Some days I see these things clearly and am grateful. Other days, I forget that they are here to help me. I can recognize my privilege and know that I am so incredibly fortunate. I can also recognize that pain is pain and sometimes things really suck.

I'm doing okay today. I hope I will continue to do okay tomorrow. On days I do poorly, I will hope the next day is better. I'm working through my problem and trying to get every type of help in my arsenal so that I can battle this beast as best as possible.

To Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, I wish only peace. To their friends and family, I wish only love and healing. To myself and to you, I wish for hope. I wish for some light. I wish for more good days than the bad days. I wish that we keep holding on.

Here's a selfie I really like of myself from last week. I felt beautiful and happy, and I'm still trying to chase that feeling every single day.